Tag Archive for shy

Feeling Lonely Help

Cause: Low self esteem, divorce, a relationship break-up or life circumstances that cause you to become cut off from other people.

Effect: Feeling isolated, empty and disconnected from others and the world around you. You might also feel abandoned, insecure, anxious, depressed, hopeless and resentful.

Solutions: Therapy will help you to understand why you are lonely, and teach you how to get rid of negative thoughts. Group therapy may also be helpful. Hypnosis or anti-depressants can help you to break the cycle. Join a club that interests you in order to meet likeminded people. Getting a pet will also provide you with company and something to focus on.

If you feel that you have nobody to talk to and your life feels empty then there are certain things you can do to get yourself out of this emotional black hole.

Many people that suffer from feeling lonely also suffer from low self-esteem. There is no easy way around this and if you want to overcome feeling lonely, then you have to work hard to get yourself out of it.

When I first moved to the UK some sixteen years ago, the feeling of loneliness was totally overpowering. I was happily married, but stuck in the house all day whilst my husband was at work. I ended up sitting in front of the telly and watching every soap opera going, whilst eating a copious amount of unhealthy food. I knew nobody apart from my English husband and I felt totally isolated. I realised that the only person to get myself out of the situation I was in was myself.

So, I enrolled in a full-time business course at a local college and it changed everything around. Suddenly, I was meeting people every day and I was quickly making friends.

As life goes by, we never find ourselves in the same situation. You may split up with your partner or suffer an illness. Life can throw lots of surprises your way, but there are ways of combating feeling lonely and I have listed some points below, which has over the years helped me getting out of feeling lonely:

  • Smile! My grandmother always used to say that ‘life is too short to go around looking miserable – you will have a much better chance of getting to talk to someone if you have a cheerful disposition’. Lets face it, nobody wants to be around someone who is miserable, so although you are not feeling 100% cheerful, put on a smile and be friendly with whomever you meet.
  • Friends! Most people have at least one good friend and my advice is to look after your friends, because they are there to give you strength. If you have friends that get you down, then don’t see them. Meet up with friends who are positive!
  • Learn! Enrich your life by taking up a hobby of some sort. In my experience, everyone has a hidden talent. In my case, it was making jewellery and it is something that I will enjoy for the rest of my life. Whether or not it is watercolour painting or exercise, think about what you would like to do if you could choose anything!
  • Be friendly! I have found that being friendly to everyone I meet, makes people want to talk to me.
  • Read! If you enjoy reading as much as I do, then set aside some time to read books that you have always wanted to read.
  • Dance! Put on your favourite music and dance!
  • Spoil yourself! Indulge yourself at least once a week. It does not have to be expensive! My favourite indulgent is a scented bath, a glass of champagne and a good book. What is yours?

This list could go on forever, but bear in mind that life is too short to suffer from loneliness. There is light at the end of the tunnel. Open up your mind and set yourself a goal to make every day special.

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Fear of Intimacy Advice

Cause of fear of intimacy: Being hurt in the past, having an emotionally and socially isolated childhood, and an introverted personality can all cause people to fear intimacy.

Effect of fear of intimacy: If you fear social intimacy you will build an emotional wall around yourself, withhold personal information from friends and family, and be afraid to reveal your true self. Even your partner may not know you emotionally, intellectually or spiritually. You may withdraw from people, lie, or be overly talkative to hide your real feelings. This leads to anxiety.

Solutions to fear of intimacy: Practice expressing your true feelings to people instead of hiding them. Eventually this will become a habit and you will feel less tense and vulnerable. Don’t be afraid to tell people when you are angry or upset- they will most likely have picked up on it by your body language anyway. Sharing negative emotions with your friends or partner can be very beneficial. Talk about personal and everyday experiences in an open, honest manner until it becomes second nature. Let people get to know the real you.

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Help with Alcoholism

Possible Alcoholism Causes

People may use alcohol as a way of relaxing, coping with trauma, or numbing painful feelings. If this becomes a habit you might become addicted to alcohol and feel unable to cope with life when sober.

Effects of Alcoholism

You will feel a strong urge to drink. If your body becomes dependent on alcohol you will experience withdrawal symptoms when you try to stop, like sweating, nausea, agitation and shaking. Stopping suddenly can be fatal. Alcoholism may also cause hepatitis and cirrhosis of the liver, certain cancers, inflammation of the stomach and pancreas, high blood pressure, brain damage, heart failure, accidents due to being drunk, financial problems, loss of employment and relationship break-ups.

Try these Solutions to Alcoholism

  • Do not stop drinking suddenly. Talk to your doctor about starting a detox program
  • Think about why you started drinking heavily and address problems in your life
  • Group therapy
  • Psychotherapy
  • Medications such as Antabuse, which change the way your body reacts to alcohol and may help you give up

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Help with Low Self Esteem

People don’t like me or don’t care about me, I’m not smart enough, I’m too fat, I’m not good looking, I’m not good at that, I can’t get up in front of people to speak, etc., etc…. These are the kind of things that refer to people with low self-esteem, right? That is what most people probably think but there are those that are outgoing, successful, attractive, who have lots of friends and typically seem to have it all together, but still may feel or make a comment like the ones I mentioned. So would you say they have low self-esteem? What is low-self-esteem anyway?

Is it just lack of confidence in your abilities? That does not explain the person who is good at everything but is unhappy with their appearance. Is it the lack of social interaction skills, because some people are the life of the party but will not get up and speak in front of a crowd. People have been labeled as having low-self-esteem who are just shy or very reserved.

I don’t think you can say someone has low self-esteem just because they feel inadequate in some area of their life. They just need to work on that issue to give them the confidence or skills or the right mindset or physical improvement so they can have joy and peace with themselves and not worry about what anyone else thinks about them. Then they will be labeled as having high-self-esteem and everyone will think they are arrogant and full of themselves! Just Kidding! The truth is they will feel better about themselves and live better lives.

In the case of someone saying negative things about themselves all the time or not living life because of thoughts like those mentioned then it might be a more serious problem like depression in which case they need to see their doctor to get help to overcome it.

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