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Feeling Lonely Help

Cause: Low self esteem, divorce, a relationship break-up or life circumstances that cause you to become cut off from other people.

Effect: Feeling isolated, empty and disconnected from others and the world around you. You might also feel abandoned, insecure, anxious, depressed, hopeless and resentful.

Solutions: Therapy will help you to understand why you are lonely, and teach you how to get rid of negative thoughts. Group therapy may also be helpful. Hypnosis or anti-depressants can help you to break the cycle. Join a club that interests you in order to meet likeminded people. Getting a pet will also provide you with company and something to focus on.

If you feel that you have nobody to talk to and your life feels empty then there are certain things you can do to get yourself out of this emotional black hole.

Many people that suffer from feeling lonely also suffer from low self-esteem. There is no easy way around this and if you want to overcome feeling lonely, then you have to work hard to get yourself out of it.

When I first moved to the UK some sixteen years ago, the feeling of loneliness was totally overpowering. I was happily married, but stuck in the house all day whilst my husband was at work. I ended up sitting in front of the telly and watching every soap opera going, whilst eating a copious amount of unhealthy food. I knew nobody apart from my English husband and I felt totally isolated. I realised that the only person to get myself out of the situation I was in was myself.

So, I enrolled in a full-time business course at a local college and it changed everything around. Suddenly, I was meeting people every day and I was quickly making friends.

As life goes by, we never find ourselves in the same situation. You may split up with your partner or suffer an illness. Life can throw lots of surprises your way, but there are ways of combating feeling lonely and I have listed some points below, which has over the years helped me getting out of feeling lonely:

  • Smile! My grandmother always used to say that ‘life is too short to go around looking miserable – you will have a much better chance of getting to talk to someone if you have a cheerful disposition’. Lets face it, nobody wants to be around someone who is miserable, so although you are not feeling 100% cheerful, put on a smile and be friendly with whomever you meet.
  • Friends! Most people have at least one good friend and my advice is to look after your friends, because they are there to give you strength. If you have friends that get you down, then don’t see them. Meet up with friends who are positive!
  • Learn! Enrich your life by taking up a hobby of some sort. In my experience, everyone has a hidden talent. In my case, it was making jewellery and it is something that I will enjoy for the rest of my life. Whether or not it is watercolour painting or exercise, think about what you would like to do if you could choose anything!
  • Be friendly! I have found that being friendly to everyone I meet, makes people want to talk to me.
  • Read! If you enjoy reading as much as I do, then set aside some time to read books that you have always wanted to read.
  • Dance! Put on your favourite music and dance!
  • Spoil yourself! Indulge yourself at least once a week. It does not have to be expensive! My favourite indulgent is a scented bath, a glass of champagne and a good book. What is yours?

This list could go on forever, but bear in mind that life is too short to suffer from loneliness. There is light at the end of the tunnel. Open up your mind and set yourself a goal to make every day special.

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Dealing with Loneliness, Advice

We are in the middle of a loneliness crisis which is ruining our health and causing low self esteem. Many people do not even realize that they are lonely. The problem is often categorized as low self esteem, when actually it is the loneliness which is causing the low self esteem. There has been a serious decline in people that are involved in church groups, political groups and other community organizations. Most of us don’t even socialize with our neighbors anymore. We are all so busy in this hectic and fast paced world that we have created, that we don’t take time out to create new friendships. It has been proven that loneliness has a lot of serious health consequences. People are more healthy and recover from illness faster when they have a close circle of friends and family. They are also more self confident and have higher self esteem because of the support and encouragement that can only come from close relationships.

No matter how busy our lives are, it is essential that we take the time to make room for others. Even if you are married, you still need to have other friends. You can’t expect only one relationship to meet all of your emotional requirements. When married couples only have each other as friends, loneliness and low self esteem soon creep in. To find friends who will be compatible, try joining clubs or groups that focus on your interests.

Strengthening your ties with your family is also very important. The more people you let into your life, the better it is for your health, well being and self esteem. It’s not always easy to get out of our comfort zone and meet new people. Sometimes it comes down to building our self confidence and self esteem up so we do have the courage to get out and do something different. Your low self esteem and loneliness will never go away unless you try. Start today.

Join our community and start dealing with loneliness by meeting new people.