Tag Archive for improvement

Self Defeating Behaviors, The A’s

To conquer self defeating behaviour we need some form of order or path to follow. The A’s are a good way of centering the behaviour and our thinking, joining therapy247 offers help and advice with the following…

Acceptance

The more we deny or repress our affliction the worse it becomes, the more we try and run away from it the worse it gets.

Acceptance does not mean we agree or even like condone our affiliction,  but we do ourselves a favour by stopping wishing things were different .

The more we do not want to have the affliction the more it sticks and the worse it becomes. By not accepting our affliction we make our mindset worse.

So it helps to slow the mind down by accepting the affliction, start to see the affliction as a challenge and not as a halt to the quality of our life.

Attitude

A negative attitude will keep us in a negative mode, as mentioned start to see that affliction as a challenge and not as some monster that beats you every time.

The SAS – Special air service Motto is “Who Dares Wins” we have to dare in order to face our affliction. We have to learn to muster up courage, remember courage is not about being fearless, but more about going into a situation with the mouth dry, the hands shaking and the heart beating like hell, but still doing it. So attitude is important, a sense of “This is not going to beat me”. Regardless of our situation, whether that be, being dumped, panic attacks, shyness, it is the negative attitude that keeps us from having a good quality of life.

See your affliction as a challenge.

Action

If we think the same, react the same, want the same, expect the same, act the same, do the same, need the same , think the same, say the same, then we will FEEL the SAME !

We need action in order to transcend our problems – The simple answer is to practice opposites.

How do we practice opposites? By learning to undo the self defeating behaviour. The word is “Learning” . That is the great thing about therapy247.com you will be able to learn from other sufferers actions and attitudes. We see our affliction as a challenge and learn to over come it a day at a time. There is no rush easy does it.

Action starts when we open our eyes in the morning, our attitude and action will decide what sort of day we have.

It is better to move forward an inch than to stay stagnant – So do what you can today to face your affliction.

Awareness

Become aware of what therapy247.com has to offer, become aware that courage is not something outside of ourselves, but an attitude.

Become aware that you have to practice opposites in order to beat the affliction. In short if you do the opposite of yourself defeating behaviour patterns, then you will recover.

Application

Apply your plan or action to your daily routine. Do not just read something and think that is a good idea! Apply and action.

Think about keywords that will spur you on such as C.H.A.N.G.E. – G.N.A.T. – S.T.I.N.G.O. – B.E.E. – W.A.S.P. – F.L.Y. – A.N.T.

Avoidance

The more you avoid the places or the reality of your situation, the more you will stay the same.  We have to nuture courage to face our problems or to accept being dumped or such like.

An Agoraphobic will not get over Agoraphobia by staying indoors, someone who has been dumped in a relationship will not get over it by staying indoors and diving into self pity or disbelief. We have to face reality and that is either by action or by accepting the situation, remember the opposite of acceptance is a ‘spin dryer mind’!

So a lot of a little instead of little of a lot when it comes to recovery, face it an inch at a time, do it slowly and not in a hurried manner.

Allow

Allow yourself not to be perfect

Allow yourself to make mistakes

Allow yourself not to know all the answers

Allow yourself to have quality time

Allow yourself to give yourself compliments

Allow yourself to recover (You are worth it)

Allow other people to be what they are (If your happiness depends on what other people say or do you are going to be miserable for the rest of your life) Let them be as they are for your sanity.

Allow yourself to be angry at times (Do not let it go into full blown resentment)

Am I Having a Nervous Breakdown

Are You Experiencing a Nervous Breakdown?

Although it appears to be increasingly falling out of the common lexicon, the term “nervous breakdown” was once used to describe any number of mental health problems that appeared to strike suddenly. Unfortunately, the term is often used loosely or casually, and sometimes, as in films and TV, for comic effect. But is there really such as thing as a nervous breakdown? Well yes, and no.

Yes – a person can indeed ‘break down’ suddenly. The human body is a fragile mechanism that, when put under too much stress, will stop functioning normally. A person exposed to long-term, unrelenting severe stress is particularly vulnerable to experiencing a ‘breakdown.’ How does a breakdown manifest itself? The primary characteristic of a breakdown usually involves some sudden disintegration of the self. This means that an individual who usually follows a set pattern of behaviors will suddenly break away from their routine. Imagine this scenario: a person wakes every morning, goes to work, seems to function normally, visits with friends as usual, and then returns home. Imagine this person suddenly waking one morning and unable to get up. They have lost their drive, their ability to function normally, to communicate with family or friends. Perhaps they are even incapable of dressing or eating. This person is experiencing a nervous breakdown.

What other types of symptoms might be described as those associated with having a nervous breakdown? Some individuals might experience the uncontrollable need to cry, loss of energy, withdrawal, confusion, despair, inability to think clearly, sleep disruption or insomnia, loss of pleasure in everyday activities, feelings of worthlessness and depression. These “down and out” feelings are characteristic of depressive disorders.

Some individuals have breakdowns that manifest symptoms of psychosis. Breakdowns involving psychosis may involve hearing voices, seeing visions, feelings of paranoia, feelings of being pursued, feeling sensations that are not really present, grandiose or delusional behavior, bizarre public behavior, feeling of jealousy, and feelings of violence.

Whatever the nature of the breakdown, all breakdowns have in common the inability to function as normal.

What is a nervous breakdown really? A person who experiences symptoms of a nervous breakdown is suffering from some sort of mental disorder. That is, despite what we used to think, a nervous breakdown in and of itself is not an illness or disease. They are merely symptomatic of a larger problem. In fact, no legitimate physician or mental health professional would ever diagnose someone as having a nervous breakdown. The characteristics of a nervous breakdown can be symptomatic of a large variety of mental illnesses. The most common illness that resembles these characteristics is a Major Depressive episode. Other disorders that are related to what we think of as a nervous breakdown include panic attacks, generalized anxiety disorder, post-traumatic stress disorder and other trauma disorders, acute stress disorder, schizophrenia, psychotic disorders, bipolar disorder, depression, and mood disorders. All of these mental disorders are characteristic of what many laypeople would characterize as a nervous breakdown.

Who is most likely to suffer from a nervous breakdown? Almost anyone who is subjected to undue stress is capable of experiencing a nervous breakdown. For instance, any person who has been subjected to extreme stress and trauma is vulnerable to experiencing a disorder that mimics the general perception of a nervous breakdown. For instance, a young person returning from battle may experience symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder. A woman experiencing severe depression after the birth of her child may experience post-partum depression.

How can a person suffering any of the characteristics of a nervous breakdown get help? Sometimes the hardest part of recovery is getting the person to visit a doctor. For some kinds of mental disorders, a nervous breakdown can be a blessing in disguise. An individual suffering from severe anxiety or depression may find her self speaking to a psychotherapist for the first time. A person who suffered alone for long time may suddenly find himself getting better with medical attention. In many fortunate cases, the person who experienced the nervous breakdown may emerge from therapy stronger and healthier than ever before. Treatments can include antidepressant and psychotropic medications, psychotherapy, and prescribed periods of rest.

Prevention of nervous breakdowns is an oft-ignored subject that researchers are beginning to study. The characterization of a nervous breakdown as something that happens very suddenly can be misleading. In many cases, symptoms of the coming breakdown are present, but either the individual or their family and friends ignore them. Individuals who sense themselves becoming increasingly stressed, depressed, angry, or violent are encouraged to seek help immediately.

Have you asked “Am I Having a Nervous Breakdown?” Discuss this in our forum

Help with Alcoholism

Possible Alcoholism Causes

People may use alcohol as a way of relaxing, coping with trauma, or numbing painful feelings. If this becomes a habit you might become addicted to alcohol and feel unable to cope with life when sober.

Effects of Alcoholism

You will feel a strong urge to drink. If your body becomes dependent on alcohol you will experience withdrawal symptoms when you try to stop, like sweating, nausea, agitation and shaking. Stopping suddenly can be fatal. Alcoholism may also cause hepatitis and cirrhosis of the liver, certain cancers, inflammation of the stomach and pancreas, high blood pressure, brain damage, heart failure, accidents due to being drunk, financial problems, loss of employment and relationship break-ups.

Try these Solutions to Alcoholism

  • Do not stop drinking suddenly. Talk to your doctor about starting a detox program
  • Think about why you started drinking heavily and address problems in your life
  • Group therapy
  • Psychotherapy
  • Medications such as Antabuse, which change the way your body reacts to alcohol and may help you give up

Get Help with Alcoholism in our Message Board

Help with Eating Disorders

Causes: Eating disorders are usually caused by the desire to gain control over your life and to be thin. They typically affect people who have low self-esteem, emotional problems and a distorted view of their own body.

Effect: If a person has anorexia, they fear food, restrict what they eat and exercise excessively, feeling they are overweight even when in reality they are dangerously thin. This causes all sorts of health problems, including brittle bones, malnutrition, dehydration, infertility, fainting and heart damage. Anorexia may lead to death.

A person with Bulimia also fears gaining weight, but unlike anorexia they binge on high-calorie food in between periods of fasting, then make themselves vomit or abuse laxatives to try to get rid of the calories. People with bulimia usually have a normal body weight. The effects of bulimia include an irregular heartbeat, kidney damage and eroded tooth enamel.

Solutions

  • If your bodyweight is very low, it’s important that you seek professional help from your doctor or an eating disorders clinic
  • Keeping a diary of your food intake and feelings may help
  • Follow an eating plan
  • Eat small, regular amounts of food that is high in nutrients
  • Counselling
  • Family therapy

Free Help with Eating Disorders Online

Dealing with Panic Attacks

Panic attacks occur due to overwhelming anxiety and fear. Experiencing it, is the most uncomfortable situation in a person’s life. It gives a sense of dying. Difficulty comes in trying to break out of the attacks and removing yourself from the situation which can even make the attacks even more worse. Understanding what it is will bring great relief and will make one realize that it is quite common. Once a person gets to know what it is, he will definitely develop a curiosity to know how to manage a panic attack. There are many tips to manage a panic attack as given below. It can be as short as few seconds or it may last up to an hour. Regardless of how you get them, they are manageable and can be treated.

Managing panic attacks does not always go with taking medicines and consulting a doctor. There are other proper prevention methods which are available to manage such panic or anxiety attacks. The following points are some which could help you to manage these attacks.

  • Once you feel it coming breathe slowly in and out of a paper bag. A paper bag will help your oxygen levels to return to normal.
  • Avoid junk foods and drinks outside. Have regular meals to keep your blood sugar level stable.
  • Dont bottle up your emotions. Always find someone may be a family member or a friend and share your thoughts so that you feel relaxed.
  • Listen to some good music and do a pleasurable task allowing the panic to subside.
  • Once u sense an attack, close your eyes, breathe slowly and deeply and always keep in mind that you are safe.
  • Firmly tell yourself that the symptoms you feel are temporary and they are not harmful.
  • Avoiding exposure to unnecessary stress helps to managing these attacks.
  • Try to exercise on a daily basis to have a healthy physic which keeps you away from panic attacks.

Managing panic attacks is simple if we get to know the cause for it. It is always better to avoid the circumstances that cause the attack. Severe attacks can be managed by learning how to breathe properly. You can use a breathing technique that you are comfortable with, once you feel an attack.

Get Help Dealing with Panic Attacks

Dealing with Anger

Anger is a destructive state of mind which reacts to objects or situations in a negative way. In such situations, all the qualities of a person or an object seem unattractive and useless.This situation may be exaggerated to an extent where you build a negative or unpleasant image of the person or object that starts irritating you. In such conditions, you may even harm or criticize the faulty person. This is a very harmful situation which can cause many losses. This situation has no positive effects and only negative effects are there.

To avoid such situations, it is very important to watch the thoughts in your mind so that you may learn the cause and the origin of negative thoughts. Most of the time, anger arises due to health problems,alcohol or drug intake, family problems, financial problems, stress or social issues. You cannot always control these situations, but you can surely keep your mind calm to avoid a destructive situation like anger.

You can learn to control your anger and calm your mind by following a few anger management techniques. These techniques are well-tested on various patients and hence are quite reliable.

These are some of the negative effects of anger:

1. Anger may cause high stress, injury, high blood pressure and high pulse rate. These kinds of situations may lead to heart attack, stroke or even brain hemorrhage.

2. Anger may also result in various emotional swings like feelings of extreme guilt, hopelessness, anxiety and in acute cases, even suicide.

Anger is known to be an intense emotion and it is generally not an easy task to overcome this problem. However, with determined dedication and honest commitment you can help yourself to some extent. Sometimes, you may even need assistance and support of others. Below are some steps that may aid you in getting rid of this strong emotion.

You should be determined about your decision and have a strong will to free yourself from feelings of anger.

Try to be calm and do not jump to conclusions. In addition to this, you should always think before you react to a situation. Be expressive about your feelings. If there is something that you do not like, then you should communicate with others about it. Anger management is a gradual process, so you should not expect a change in yourself overnight. Every day, you should do things that relax your mind and body and keep yourself away from any stressful situations.

Anger management requires full dedication and determination. You also need to be patient about your recovery as it takes a lot of time to overcome anger and have a relaxed mind even in stressful conditions.

Get help dealing with anger and rage

Help with Anxiety Attacks

There’s a great deal of interest in how to stop panic attacks and anxiety without medication nowadays. In the main, sufferers just don’t want to be dependent on mind-numbing drugs such as antidepressants and tranquilizers for long periods of their lives. They would much prefer to handle things totally naturally.

Here you’ll learn of one such natural approach to eliminating your anxiety and panic attacks…

FOREWORD ON STOPPING PANIC ATTACKS AND ANXIETY WITHOUT MEDICATION

When considering how to stop panic attacks and anxiety without medication, there are several important things you should bear in mind…

(1). The first thing is that we aren’t dealing with a mental condition, rather we’re dealing with a behavioural one. You are not going mad. And, because it’s behavioural, it can be corrected with the proper guidance and information.

(2). Another consideration is that an attack cannot cause you any harm, you are perfectly safe. You may feel as though you are about to, but you won’t die. Your body is quite capable of handling the terrifying symptoms of an attack. In fact, it’s your body’s fight or flight response that triggers your attacks in the first place!

(3). Although you may think you lack courage, you certainly don’t. Remember that, on a daily basis, you face a range of challenges that the average person very rarely has to.

(4). Because of point (1) above, you don’t have to worry about being stuck with your anxiety problem for the rest of your life. It can be cured, with the correct approach. These are very important points to understand because they are all positive ones and so form a solid starting point for your cure.

MAINSTREAM TREATMENT FOR PANIC ATTACKS AND ANXIETY

You have no doubt visited your doctor and been diagnosed with general anxiety and panic attacks. And, as in most cases, you’ve been prescribed drugs, usually antidepressants, tranquilizers and even beta blockers. You may also have been referred to a therapist. The problem here is that neither of these address a fundamental aspect of your ongoing problem, and that is that they don’t address your fear of having another panic attack.

FEAR OF PANIC ATTACKS AND YOUR ANXIETY CYCLE

You see, your unconscious or conscious fear of your next attack can actually trigger such an attack. But where does this fear come from? It’s so simple really. The experience of your first attack was so terrifying that you live (consciously or subconsciously) in dread of another. This is understandable. The problem is that as long as this persists it only adds to your already high anxiety levels. So the key is to break out of this cycle of anxiety by getting rid of your fear of another panic attack. If you can do this then you are able to address your underlying general anxiety much more effectively and so eliminate it. But if mainstream treatment cannot do this effectively what other options are there?

HOW TO STOP PANIC ATTACKS AND ANXIETY WITHOUT MEDICATION

One serious option is to get rid of your fear of panic attacks by taking a counter-intuitive approach. By that I mean, instead of running away or hiding from your next panic attack, i.e. never putting yourself in a position where one might occur, you actually tackle your fear head-on. For example, try to make yourself have an attack right this second. I know that, try as hard as you might, you cannot. You’ve faced up to it. You met the challenge head on. And so the next time you feel an attack about to come on, recognize it for what it is. You now know what causes it. Know that it cannot harm you and will end shortly. Even repeat to yourself that you know what it is and that you aren’t in danger. And focus outwards on things around you, not inwards on your symptoms.

I’ve actually, in my head, told an attack when it began to ‘do its worst.’ In other words meet the attack head on and wrestle back control. There is no doubt that you can eliminate panic attacks and anxiety using totally natural techniques. And by now understanding that these attacks cannot cause harm and that your fear of them is what is actually holding you back, you are better positioned to go on and get your freedom back. So, no more fear of going out because of the fear of an attack, no more putting off holiday plans or business travel, no more fear of getting stuck in traffic or on trains, etc., and no more living a very trapped existence.

Get more help with anxiety attacks in our messageboard

Help with Low Self Esteem

People don’t like me or don’t care about me, I’m not smart enough, I’m too fat, I’m not good looking, I’m not good at that, I can’t get up in front of people to speak, etc., etc…. These are the kind of things that refer to people with low self-esteem, right? That is what most people probably think but there are those that are outgoing, successful, attractive, who have lots of friends and typically seem to have it all together, but still may feel or make a comment like the ones I mentioned. So would you say they have low self-esteem? What is low-self-esteem anyway?

Is it just lack of confidence in your abilities? That does not explain the person who is good at everything but is unhappy with their appearance. Is it the lack of social interaction skills, because some people are the life of the party but will not get up and speak in front of a crowd. People have been labeled as having low-self-esteem who are just shy or very reserved.

I don’t think you can say someone has low self-esteem just because they feel inadequate in some area of their life. They just need to work on that issue to give them the confidence or skills or the right mindset or physical improvement so they can have joy and peace with themselves and not worry about what anyone else thinks about them. Then they will be labeled as having high-self-esteem and everyone will think they are arrogant and full of themselves! Just Kidding! The truth is they will feel better about themselves and live better lives.

In the case of someone saying negative things about themselves all the time or not living life because of thoughts like those mentioned then it might be a more serious problem like depression in which case they need to see their doctor to get help to overcome it.

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