Cause: Low self esteem, divorce, a relationship break-up or life circumstances that cause you to become cut off from other people.
Effect: Feeling isolated, empty and disconnected from others and the world around you. You might also feel abandoned, insecure, anxious, depressed, hopeless and resentful.
Solutions: Therapy will help you to understand why you are lonely, and teach you how to get rid of negative thoughts. Group therapy may also be helpful. Hypnosis or anti-depressants can help you to break the cycle. Join a club that interests you in order to meet likeminded people. Getting a pet will also provide you with company and something to focus on.
If you feel that you have nobody to talk to and your life feels empty then there are certain things you can do to get yourself out of this emotional black hole.
Many people that suffer from feeling lonely also suffer from low self-esteem. There is no easy way around this and if you want to overcome feeling lonely, then you have to work hard to get yourself out of it.
When I first moved to the UK some sixteen years ago, the feeling of loneliness was totally overpowering. I was happily married, but stuck in the house all day whilst my husband was at work. I ended up sitting in front of the telly and watching every soap opera going, whilst eating a copious amount of unhealthy food. I knew nobody apart from my English husband and I felt totally isolated. I realised that the only person to get myself out of the situation I was in was myself.
So, I enrolled in a full-time business course at a local college and it changed everything around. Suddenly, I was meeting people every day and I was quickly making friends.
As life goes by, we never find ourselves in the same situation. You may split up with your partner or suffer an illness. Life can throw lots of surprises your way, but there are ways of combating feeling lonely and I have listed some points below, which has over the years helped me getting out of feeling lonely:
- Smile! My grandmother always used to say that ‘life is too short to go around looking miserable – you will have a much better chance of getting to talk to someone if you have a cheerful disposition’. Lets face it, nobody wants to be around someone who is miserable, so although you are not feeling 100% cheerful, put on a smile and be friendly with whomever you meet.
- Friends! Most people have at least one good friend and my advice is to look after your friends, because they are there to give you strength. If you have friends that get you down, then don’t see them. Meet up with friends who are positive!
- Learn! Enrich your life by taking up a hobby of some sort. In my experience, everyone has a hidden talent. In my case, it was making jewellery and it is something that I will enjoy for the rest of my life. Whether or not it is watercolour painting or exercise, think about what you would like to do if you could choose anything!
- Be friendly! I have found that being friendly to everyone I meet, makes people want to talk to me.
- Read! If you enjoy reading as much as I do, then set aside some time to read books that you have always wanted to read.
- Dance! Put on your favourite music and dance!
- Spoil yourself! Indulge yourself at least once a week. It does not have to be expensive! My favourite indulgent is a scented bath, a glass of champagne and a good book. What is yours?
This list could go on forever, but bear in mind that life is too short to suffer from loneliness. There is light at the end of the tunnel. Open up your mind and set yourself a goal to make every day special.